Dive

Ten o'clock and not dark yet. It's a dusky dark blue out with all the windows across from us warm shades of yellow and orange.

I worked on silkscreen ideas today, none of which really worked. I don't feel like an artist today, or a writer. I read a lot about creative process on the internet. How different people deal with feeling stuck/blank/lost. I learned that I am lacking in discipline. I should have a routine which triggers creative work. It seems that it doesn't matter if you have ideas if you don't have the ability to sit and work them through routinely. I already knew that. Just have to be less lazy. I did a collage in my sketchbook which made me feel slightly better.

I read about Maurice Sendak's view of creativity. That it contains an element of despair, and that the artist must "dive into limbo." This may be true at times. But I think if there's an element of despair then there should also be an element of joy. Release and freedom. Or that that despair should lead to such positive things. Otherwise, why create? The word "dive" implies that you are going to resurface, splashing in the sunshine, gulping air, having seen or gotten something. Bringing something up from the depths.

We've been hiding out these days. Avoiding all the reality type things. Holed up being project-y, waiting for it to get warm out again. Making meals out of whatever's left in the cupboard. Which is creative in its own right. Yesterday we managed to make 4 "burgers" out of 2 fishsticks, 4 sesame nuggets, and 1 veggie schnitzel. "What can you make with a can of beans and...ricecakes?"

It's a waiting day, an in-between day, a quiet day, with it's breath held a bit and it's shoulders a little tense.