Vitality over finish

How much of any of this do we need? How much of it is actually a hinder? What really matters?

Lots of reading. A book about Mark Rothko and his painting career. The Abstract Expressionists. "They value expression over perfection, vitality over finish, fluctuation over repose, the unknown over the known, the inner over the outer." It's more a process than a style. Goal is to express feeling through the act of painting (etc) itself without fixating on the actual product of that act, the artwork.

Don't struggle, ALLOW. Inte det man borde göra; det man inte kan låta bli att göra. (Tove Jansson) Translated: Not what you should do; that which you can't help doing.

Being open.

What was today? Sorting things out. Getting ready for selling the clothes we brought from Canada at Street this Friday. Trying to get our heads around what we have to get done in the next few weeks. Listened to a new free release by Buck 65, really good.

Feeling sort of exhausted. I always need some processing time after travel. Also these days are unstructured: I can't relax enough to work/play because I'm too aware of the practical work that needs doing. Too aware of the big change coming. No way to prepare for it, in some respects. Have to concentrate on one thing at a time.

So much seems about letting go lately, allowing things to go the way they want to, not letting myself get in the way of a different kind of life that's trying to form. Letting go of control over my life in some ways. Letting go of the way I thought my life should look by now, to make room for how it really is, and for how it wants to be.