Fountain in a mall

Spring always makes things possible like this. The old grass is yellow and the trees are muted dark green. Then there all the shades of brown and the moody grey blue of the ocean. The grey of bare branches. Everything muted to the same tone. But the possibilities are under all that, invisible. It's a time for using your imagination.

I want the clarity of spring, I want the strength of spring, I want the clear form of spring. But I should remember its muddiness and maybe want muddiness too. The haziness of grey days, the fog and blurred lines of rainy days. The clarity is often hiding; green points, which are quite hard and strong, waiting just below the surface.

I saw some men cleaning out the fountain at Park Lane mall a couple of weeks ago. They had drained all the water away and were picking up all of the coins people had thrown into it. All those wishes people had made, and their coins being collected. I thought of it today on my way to work.

How can I counter that? Can I insert something unexpected here? Can I change this into a letter? What was your day like? I ate chocolate, I worked, I drove the car, I observed the colours outside, I put lip balm on my lips. I received a seed catalogue in the mail. I washed my hands. I made notes. I remembered when Amy used to call me Jasil Berry Finn. I enjoyed writing with a pen on paper. I remembered that I have to pay the rent and do my taxes. I thought about stories and how to tell them. I felt words streaming behind my eyes and felt awake and...was it sad or hopeful?

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all "

Emily Dickinson

Give up speak up keep up stand up rise up

Maintaining a balance is so precarious sometimes. Trying to know when to stand up and defend myself, when to be humble and admit I'm wrong and see my faults. When and how to complain, when to be quiet, when to demand to speak, when to ask for help. How do you know when to point out a fault, leave out or hold a grudge, work out a new way? Keep or kick an old habit? Turn over a new leaf?

When to give up, let go, give in; when to stand up, speak up, hold on, hold out? When to change direction, or to remember an old direction. When to try to see things through someone elses eyes; when to work to make someone see through mine.

Also, when should I embrace and allow danger and risks, leaps with eyes closed, courage? And when should I hide quietly and patiently, breathing and thinking in the dark?