Testing adding pics to blogger, checking out layout.
2012-06-28
2011-05-08
2011-03-25
Reminder to self: keep it simple
There I was on the Martha Stewart website looking for kids craft ideas, all of them needing very specific materials and a good deal of figuring out. Astrid kept trying to ask me something and I kept saying, "Just wait, I'm trying to find us an activity to do." Finally she got my attention and asked "Do you think I could wash Dolly's shoes?"
Sometimes kids are satisfied with the simplest of simple things.
She was busy and happy for half an hour!
Sometimes kids are satisfied with the simplest of simple things.
She was busy and happy for half an hour!
2010-01-26
snapshot
Astrid woke up early and it had been pouring rain during the night and she woke a couple times and heard it and said "Nain out dere" and then early in the morning she woke up and said "My look at nain", so we went to living room window and looked out at the dark wet street. there was rushing water and cars going by with headlights on. i like that part of morning when nothing is expected of us yet- not making breakfast yet or getting dressed or ready- just surveying the new day and the slow returning of the light.
2010-01-25
letter-like
revamping round here. less polish, more spewing. is that how you spell spewing? i didn't really make resolutions, but i wrote down some words: improvisation, experiments, rough drafts (bad drafts!) letting messes be messes and the messiness be messy.
i've struggled with this blogging thing. as in, how much do i share? how honest can i be? and the result seems to have been sort of polished. not bad but not entirely all there. so my new strategy is no strategy. dump out contents of head. add what seems to want to be added. say what i've been thinkin' and noticin', letter-like. because i always loved writing letters. and i always loved their intimate quality.
and also, because being a mom, and being kind of Done For, as i like to affectionately put it, means i just don't care as much anymore about protecting how much i open my heart. i think what i want to do here is share my process. my process of fighting for sovereignty over my life, my process of trying to stay creative and stay having-a-voice.
other words sort of new year-ish: permission, and even-though-ing ( a concept from Havi Brooks, as in, even though i don't know why, or how, or what for, i'm going to try this. or even though it may feel boring or pointless or unoriginal, i'm going to do my thing, because i want to.)
things to add to: my Dammit List. (another Havi Brooks idea)
to do with getting sovereignty back. not over, like, my kingdom, but kind of, actually, now that i think about it, over my "queendom". sovereignty over my life and my stuff i do and make and say and getting to do my thing. even though my thing is not clearly defined yet. i know the things it has to do with. and that's a start.
so yes. the Dammit List. i've been adding things slowly.
- it makes sense if it makes sense for me, Dammit.
-it's worth doing and taking the time for, even if i don't know where i'm going with it, Dammit.
-i need a lot of "rooms of my own", Dammit. this includes journals, time for daydreaming, writing, and making stuff up. area of the house which is mine, where i can indulge in pinning scraps to the walls and photos and little bits of writing like a crazed pack rat/ eccentric author in the turret of a castle. because i need to see how things connect. and i need to feel the concept of a room of my own in my life, ESPECIALLY now when i'm a mom and super busy.
so. i imagine it'll be a bit confusing here for a bit while i sort out what i'm doing here. i have a few plans, if they decide to work with me: there's this project i've been wanting to do called the Tens Project. except that i might make it the Fives Project. which has to do with doing 5 or 10 versions of a project idea. so anything from 10 photos of things in trees. to ten fireflies (drawn, painted, collaged, etc.) lots of ideas. i think it could work to sort of rush me, or not make any one thing too important. so if i aim to do 5 or 10 versions of something, it gives some freedom. to get 5 done you have to work faster and experiment more.
and there are these ideas of sections, scheduled times to write on certain subjects or in certain ways. times for Noticings and Paying Attentions.
because i figure it might help to make it have divisions like school: Math. English. Science.
only of course not like that. like there's going to be a Mess Photo section. because we have lots of them round here lately. and a Questions section. which might be different from the Truth Effort section. or not?
and there should be some kind of nature section, because i liked watching my amaryllis grow (even though it fell off the mantle and smashed when it was in full bloom) and i liked planting seeds and watching them become things like cucumbers and peas and beans, and i liked how the first year no hollyhocks came up and then the next year lots did when we didn't even live there anymore. and then there was that youtube thing per sent me of a drop of water falling onto the surface of water and bouncing until it got small enough to blend in. so definitely a nature section of some kind. because i can already picture that picture of a wolf holding a feather in its mouth in it.
obviously i've got some splainin' to do. no being vague. and i think i can splain. over a hundred days or so.
i've struggled with this blogging thing. as in, how much do i share? how honest can i be? and the result seems to have been sort of polished. not bad but not entirely all there. so my new strategy is no strategy. dump out contents of head. add what seems to want to be added. say what i've been thinkin' and noticin', letter-like. because i always loved writing letters. and i always loved their intimate quality.
and also, because being a mom, and being kind of Done For, as i like to affectionately put it, means i just don't care as much anymore about protecting how much i open my heart. i think what i want to do here is share my process. my process of fighting for sovereignty over my life, my process of trying to stay creative and stay having-a-voice.
other words sort of new year-ish: permission, and even-though-ing ( a concept from Havi Brooks, as in, even though i don't know why, or how, or what for, i'm going to try this. or even though it may feel boring or pointless or unoriginal, i'm going to do my thing, because i want to.)
things to add to: my Dammit List. (another Havi Brooks idea)
to do with getting sovereignty back. not over, like, my kingdom, but kind of, actually, now that i think about it, over my "queendom". sovereignty over my life and my stuff i do and make and say and getting to do my thing. even though my thing is not clearly defined yet. i know the things it has to do with. and that's a start.
so yes. the Dammit List. i've been adding things slowly.
- it makes sense if it makes sense for me, Dammit.
-it's worth doing and taking the time for, even if i don't know where i'm going with it, Dammit.
-i need a lot of "rooms of my own", Dammit. this includes journals, time for daydreaming, writing, and making stuff up. area of the house which is mine, where i can indulge in pinning scraps to the walls and photos and little bits of writing like a crazed pack rat/ eccentric author in the turret of a castle. because i need to see how things connect. and i need to feel the concept of a room of my own in my life, ESPECIALLY now when i'm a mom and super busy.
so. i imagine it'll be a bit confusing here for a bit while i sort out what i'm doing here. i have a few plans, if they decide to work with me: there's this project i've been wanting to do called the Tens Project. except that i might make it the Fives Project. which has to do with doing 5 or 10 versions of a project idea. so anything from 10 photos of things in trees. to ten fireflies (drawn, painted, collaged, etc.) lots of ideas. i think it could work to sort of rush me, or not make any one thing too important. so if i aim to do 5 or 10 versions of something, it gives some freedom. to get 5 done you have to work faster and experiment more.
and there are these ideas of sections, scheduled times to write on certain subjects or in certain ways. times for Noticings and Paying Attentions.
because i figure it might help to make it have divisions like school: Math. English. Science.
only of course not like that. like there's going to be a Mess Photo section. because we have lots of them round here lately. and a Questions section. which might be different from the Truth Effort section. or not?
and there should be some kind of nature section, because i liked watching my amaryllis grow (even though it fell off the mantle and smashed when it was in full bloom) and i liked planting seeds and watching them become things like cucumbers and peas and beans, and i liked how the first year no hollyhocks came up and then the next year lots did when we didn't even live there anymore. and then there was that youtube thing per sent me of a drop of water falling onto the surface of water and bouncing until it got small enough to blend in. so definitely a nature section of some kind. because i can already picture that picture of a wolf holding a feather in its mouth in it.
obviously i've got some splainin' to do. no being vague. and i think i can splain. over a hundred days or so.
2009-02-25
old notes
Going through some old notebooks to collect notes for the story I'm working on. Found these two little bits:
The comedy of how much control I want versus how little I have. I want the laundry to stay in its pile rather than be dragged across the floor. I want her to let me read to her without tearing/biting throwing the book. I want to decide how long I can stay in a store, or outside for that matter. I'm sure I should learn something right now about giving up control.
(January 2009)
I watch the snow become less each day. Out in the courtyard the ground gradually shows more. The layer of ice is softening and weakening. Now you could pick up parts of it in your hands.Under the ice on the lake there is surely subtle cracking and shifting.
You can also feel this in yourself, and your own desire to melt. The knots in your shoulders would like to melt. Your whole body would like to melt and remember that melted trusting feeling you knew before.
(March 2006?)
The comedy of how much control I want versus how little I have. I want the laundry to stay in its pile rather than be dragged across the floor. I want her to let me read to her without tearing/biting throwing the book. I want to decide how long I can stay in a store, or outside for that matter. I'm sure I should learn something right now about giving up control.
(January 2009)
I watch the snow become less each day. Out in the courtyard the ground gradually shows more. The layer of ice is softening and weakening. Now you could pick up parts of it in your hands.Under the ice on the lake there is surely subtle cracking and shifting.
You can also feel this in yourself, and your own desire to melt. The knots in your shoulders would like to melt. Your whole body would like to melt and remember that melted trusting feeling you knew before.
(March 2006?)
2009-02-22
Dog-watching
It's interesting how Astrid already has her own personality, and is interested in things on her own terms and not always on mine. For instance, she's a dog-watcher. She sits in her high chair at breakfast facing the window so she can see out and see people walking by in the street. What she gets excited about are the dogs. There are lots of people going by walking their dogs and she always notices when one walks into her frame of view. She then yells loudly at the dog, trying to get its attention and greet it. If out of her chair she bangs on the window trying to get its attention. And she becomes very happy and excited.
I have not previously been much of a dog-watcher, but now, because I know how happy it makes her, I am always on the look-out for a dog to point out to her. It's nice to feel myself get excited about a small event like a dog-sighting. She's good at this; reminding me to slow down and notice the little things.
I have not previously been much of a dog-watcher, but now, because I know how happy it makes her, I am always on the look-out for a dog to point out to her. It's nice to feel myself get excited about a small event like a dog-sighting. She's good at this; reminding me to slow down and notice the little things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)